We were told it takes a good year to adjust to being back in the rat-race that IS an American life, but I think it's going to take us AT LEAST two years! Coming home with a newborn, and now having another baby arriving soon hasn't left us much time to work on adjusting. Maybe next year!
I was talking to my friend the other night, who still lives in Manila. She asked how I remember Manila now that it's been behind us for a year. I look back on Manila and am amazed at all we lived through and experienced. I can't believe we survived typhoons, coup attempts, bombings, and several earthquakes...not to mention typhoid fever, TB, and having a baby in a VERY third-world country. It all seems so surreal, and yet was a part of our everyday life in the Philippines.
Here's some of what we experienced living overseas:
Exapt life is a constant roller-coaster ride. You have VERY high highs, and EXTREMELY low lows--with no straight-aways in between. You're either up, or you're down. That alone is stressful enough, but there is also a constant state of stressfulness that never leaves. You go to bed stressed, and you wake up stressed. It's like you're in over-drive all the time. You never know what to expect, you have to be ready for anything. Life in America is a lot more predictable....you know you can go to the store and find tomato soup, for example. Overseas, something as simple as tomato soup is not a given...it could be there one time, and gone for 6 months the next. You just never know. Our motto was always: If you see it, buy it--cuz it probably won't be there the next time! Not to mention the fact that the store employees re-arrange the stores every single day. So even if it is there, you won't be able to find it again. I learned that the hard way!
The Expat Cycle:
There's an Expat cycle that the seasoned Expats often referred to in Manila. You start out in the
"I can't believe we're really living overseas" phase
This is where you're a little scared, and weary of everything and everyone, and just in shock that you are actually there (usually only lasts a few days). Then you quickly move on to the "Honeymoon" phase
Where you LOVE being there and think everything is hunky-dory. Nothing phases you...not being stuck in traffic for hours at a time, not seeing people peeing on the sidewalks or begging on every street corner, not even having to walk in the "female" door while your husband walks in the "male" door to the department stores--and you both get patted down. You see it all as a "cultural experience". This phase can be short, or it can last a very LONG time. In my opinion, the shorter this phase is, the better you will be at dealing with life overseas. The longer it lasts, the harder the fall downward will be. And there is ALWAYS a fall! Then there's the
"Survival" phase
When you get to this phase, you are just surviving day to day...trying not to yell at your helpers for ironing your underwear again when you've already told them 10 times not to, trying not to get car-sick because your driver only knows how to slam on the brakes instead of slowly pushing them down, and trying to deal with all the "for awhile ma'ams" ["for awhile": can mean wait 2 min, or 2 hours...or can mean that they don't know and will make you wait until you get so mad you just leave--instead of simply telling you, "I don't know ma'am"]. This is the phase that usually lasts the longest, and is the hardest to handle. When you're in this phase, you can't stand to be around people in the "honeymoon" phase. They are WAY too perky and don't understand the life that you've been leading over the past few months. You secretly can't wait until they hit their low!! Then they'll understand! Finally, you come to the
"Count Down" phase
Where you have less than a year to go, and are counting the months until you can get on that plane and get out of there! You're also so busy shopping for all the things that you want to take home, that you don't get nearly as upset when you discover that your helper re-arranged your spices by the color of their lid!
Going Home
You feel like a foreigner every day while overseas…then you actually go ‘home’ and still feel like a foreigner!!!
Here's to all my expat friends....I know you can relate!! :)
You know you're a former Expat when:
1. You spend hours in Wal-Mart just browsing the aisles and looking at all the choices of shampoo!
2. You still buy a year’s supply of deodorant, toothpaste, make-up, and shampoo just in case it's not there next time--after all, you never know!
3.Your baby has a frequent flier number and is a seasoned air traveler.
4.Your kids assume you're flying when you tell them you're going to grandma's.
5. You finally realize your husband's not the tallest person, and you're not the whitest in the country anymore.
6. Your kids know where strange countries like Uzbekistan and Oman are, but can't even find their own state on a map.
7. You clean out your purse and find Pesos instead of Dollars.
8. You try to remember that a red light means stop, not go faster.
9. You have to consciously remind yourself not to bribe police officers.
10. You can pack a suitcase to 49.9lbs without a scale.
11. $4 for a gallon of gas – man, that’s cheap!
12. You are astonished to find apples are cheaper than mangos.
13. Your kids would rather fly around the world first class than drive an hour in a car.
We are back, but as you can tell, we're FAR from feeling truly American!
